And the FBI's
by opheliafrump
Summary: This "episode" came to me in my dream. Please read and review: Caroline found out Max was the FBI agent who arrested her father. What else would she discover?
1. S02E23PA

This whole story idea came to me in a dream. Yes... I dreamt a whole 2 Broke Girls episode. What can I say? I am a TV addict… I know the idea kinda sucks, but it was an awesome dream. I am trying to sew bits and pieces of the leftover dream memory back together, so some of the part might need refining. Please do leave me a review when you are done reading. (Anonymous review accepted too!)

I know this will never happen, but it would be so cool if they make this into an episode (or maybe expanding this to a two-parter finale)...

* * *

= Diner =

* Max and Caroline are adding more ketchup into the new plastic ketchup bottle *

Max: You know what would be cool?

Caroline: We get a $5,000 tip from some dying old man who is dying?

Max: You wish. I think it would be so cool if we are in a Steven Soderbergh's movie and I am an undercover FBI agent who is here to protect you.

Caroline: You wish. The best we would do is to be on a Michael Bay's movie and die in an oven explosion.

* Max pops the ketchup bag and causes a small ketchup explosion *

* Caroline and Max laugh *

= Title roll =

= Commercials =


	2. S02E23PB

= Max's Homemade Cupcake =

* Only one transvestite lady is sitting at the corner *

* Max talks to Caroline behind the cupcake showcase *

Max: I have to leave town.

Caroline: For what?

Max: I got a message from my "gay almost ex-stepdad". He broke his hip and he needed someone to take care of him.

Caroline: "Gay almost ex-stepdad"?

Max: Ya, my mom's ex-boyfriend. They almost get married. Then he realized he's gay and he left her.

Caroline: That's so sad.

Max: It's okay. He deserves better. Anyway, I have to be gone for a while you think you can take care of everything?

Caroline: Of course, I can.

* Power down, light off *

* Caroline turns on the torch light of her iPhone *

Max: Did you forget to pay the electric bill again?

Caroline: I didn't forget. We couldn't afford to.

* Caroline sticks her tongue out *

= Outside Max's Homemade Cupcake =

Transvestite Lady: Are you ready to go back to work? Your vacation should be over 4 years ago.

Max: This is my resignation letter. I don't want to do that anymore. I will check in tomorrow to pick up everything. I want Patrick back. Can you arrange that?

Transvestite Lady: If you are going AWOL, you need to skip town now. The agency won't let you go so easily.

= Diner, same time =

* Caroline at diner *

Earl: Caroline, you got a letter.

Caroline: Why did my mail get sent to the diner?

Earl: You ask me? Someone drop it off for you. I bet it's some secret admirer.

* Caroline opens the envelope *

* There is a photo *

* Caroline shocks *

= Commercials =


	3. S02E23PC

= Diner =

Caroline: It's my dad and Max.

Earl: I don't think this is Max.

Caroline: Why are they kissing?

Earl: Caroline, your dad is in jail.

* Earl uses a magnifying glass to look at the photo *

Earl: Definitely not Max.

Caroline: Yes it is.

Earl: It's from 2008.

Caroline: 2008 September 10? This is the date my dad got arrested?

Earl: You're saying Max made out with your father on the date he got arrested? Are you high?

* Earl put his hand to Caroline's forehead to check her temperature *

Caroline: I am not sick.

Earl: Look, there is a note.

Caroline: "If you want to know what happened, come to this address." I am going there.

Earl: Sounds like a trap.

Caroline: Cover for me, Earl.

* Caroline left a diner *

Han: Where did Caroline go? And where is Max?

Earl: She is trying to find out rather or not Max slept with her father.

Han: Bad, this is bad.

* Han leaves the diner *

Earl: Well, I guess we are closing early today.

* Earl turns off the "OPEN" sign *

= Creepy abandon warehouse =

* Caroline opens the door and enters *

* Max is talking to guys who dress like "Men in Black" agent *

Caroline: Max!

* Someone bags Caroline/the camera from the bag *

* Seconds later, Caroline gets unbagged *

* Max and Caroline are sitting side by side, both of them tied up *

Caroline (threaten the agents): You better untie me or I will scream.

* Agents look at each other and laugh *

Max: You do know this is an abandon warehouse, right?

* Agents leave the room, still laughing *

Max: Why the hell are you here?

Caroline: I got a letter with this address, and a photo of you making out with my dad.

* Max looks serious *

Max: Caroline, I have to be honest with you. I am your mother.

= Commercials =


	4. S02E23PD

_Sorry, I didn't expect Max and Caroline would sell their shop when I wrote this story…_

Caroline: What?!

Max: Nan, I am just joking. The moment felt right.

* Caroline relieves *

Caroline: So, why the hell were you making out with my father?

Max: Well Caroline Caroline Caroline. * Silent, making up excuses * The photo was photoshoped.

Caroline: Oh, okay. For a moment, I thought you were my father's sugar baby. Wait, don't tell me you are my sister.

Max: Eww, that would be incest.

Caroline: Tricked you. You did sleep with my father. So, Max, what happened?

Max: It was 2008. Things are blurry.

Caroline: MAX!

Max: Fine, I will tell you the truth.

= Voice over flash back? =

* Max dressed up like a pro OL *

Max: I was an agent in the FBI, just left home, passing out from that crappy FBI training school at the top of my class and starting fresh.

Caroline: Top of your class?

Max: Ya, I am really good at hiding and spying, plus I flirted with the instructor. My first task was to investigate the Channings scam, so I went undercover in your father's company. The FBI created many moments for us to meet. To get close to him, I started seeing him and we fell in love.

Caroline: Awwww, You guys fall in love. I meant ewww.

Max: Anyway, during the time we were dating, I continued the investigation and finally have enough evidences to arrest him. So, ya, I am sorry to tell you that I was the FBI agent who arrested your father.

= Back into the tied-up room =

Caroline: But I thought you guys don't know each other the first time you met him at the prison.

Max: Oh no, we do know each other, we just pretend we don't so things don't get weird. Anyway, long story short, I feel so bad after arresting the man I love and I quit the FBI, but the FBI won't let me quit, so we are stuck here.

Caroline: So, we meeting was a plan?

Max: Nope, you just march into my life and screw up everything. Don't worry. I still love you and I won't let us die here.

* Max unties herself while talking *

Caroline: Max, you ARE good.

* Max unties Caroline *

* FBI agents bust into the room *

* One of the agents was handling a child with dark hair *

Child: Mommy!

Max: Patrick!

FBI Agent A: Look who has untied herself, no wonder you are the best of your class, Agent Max White.

Max: I go with Max Black now. I can't handle being the "good man".

FBI Agent B: Sit back down or we are breaking your child's neck.

Caroline: Max, is he my father's son?

Max: Yes, he is.

Caroline: OMG, I have a younger brother! That's so cool.

Max: Do I need to remind you that you are in danger?

* Someone enters the room *

* It is Han *

Max + Caroline: Han!

Max: This place is dangerous. Why are you here? Go home to your mama.

Han (in perfect English) to the FBI Agents: I am Agent Han. I am here to handle the case. I am Agent Max White's watcher after she left the FBI and I know how to handle an agent got rouge.

* FBI Agents are frozen, don't know how to react *

* Max takes the moment to punch and MMA the agents *

Caroline: I didn't know you could do that?

Max: I have too many secrets.

* Han is on the floor pointing a gun at Max *

Han: Happy Birthday, Max.

* Han shoots two bullets into Max's chest and she collapses *

* Caroline shakes Max on the floor *

Caroline: Han you bastard, you killed Max!

Han: I did what I had to do. Agent Smith and Agent Pattison, please report to your superior that Agent Max White is now dead and the file should be closed.

* The two agents nod their heads and leave *

Han: Are you okay, Max?

* Max digs the two bullets out with her bare hand, she was wearing a vest *

Max: Of course not, you shot me! It hurts.

Han: I knew you were wearing a vest.

* Max punches Han's chest *

= Commercials =


	5. S02E23PE

= Diner =

* Max and Caroline enter the diner with Patrick *

* Earl, Sophie and Oleg are inside *

* Transvestite lady and Han are also sitting at the corner *

Everyone: SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!

Max: Thanks!

* Max hugs everyone and she looks like her wound hurts *

Earl: Who's this little guy?

Caroline: This is Max's son.

* Everyone laughs and thinks Caroline is joking *

* Caroline put Patrick at one of the booth *

* Transvestite Lady is in the diner and the three go to the back *

Transvestite Lady: Max, I am glad you are okay and you take your son back.

Max: Caroline, this is my FBI supervisor, Sandy.

Caroline: Is this a job requirement to go undercover as a transsexual prostitute?

* Transvestite Lady pushes her fake breasts up with her two hands *

Transvestite Lady: I just like to dress up like woman.

* Max lifts up her shirt and she has two small bullet wounds *

Caroline: Max, you ARE hurt.

Max to Caroline: Can we have a private moment?

* Caroline left the room *

* Transvestite Lady takes care of Max's wounds *

Max: I got shot at today. I am out.

Transvestite Lady: I am having an early retirement too. Don't you worry. I will take care of everything. You can continue to live your "normal life".

Max: You know it's so hard to back to yesterday before everything happens.

= Max and Caroline's Home =

* Caroline holding Patrick, all three of them are sitting on Caroline's bed *

Caroline: So, everything goes back to normal?

Max: Yup, except we have one more mouth to feed and we are still broke.

Caroline: I can work with that.

Max: Caroline.

Caroline: Yes Max.

* Camera films "through" Caroline's eyes *

* Max uses her Martial Art skill to knock out Caroline *

Max: Caroline, Caroline, Caroline, Caroline, Caroline.

*Sound fades out and camera fades into new scene *

= Max's Homemade Cupcake =

* Back to Act I scene before the power out *

* Max is trying who wake up Caroline who was sleeping while standing *

*Caroline awakes*

Max: Did you just fall asleep when I was saying I have to leave town to take care of my "gay almost ex-stepdad"?

*Caroline rubs her neck *

Caroline: Why is my neck hurt? Max, are you an FBI agent?

Max: No.

Caroline: Let me put it this way. Were you working for the FBI?

Max: No. Did you just get wacked in the head?

= Commercials =


	6. S02E23PF

= Inside the diner =

* Caroline is in the back *

* Transvestite lady gives Max and envelope *

Transvestite Lady: This is everything you need.

Max: I guess we will never see each other again. Please take good care of him.

Transvestite Lady: I will treat him as my own.

* Max, kind of, wipes her "inner" tear *

Max: You know I am allergic to happiness.

* Max takes a kitten out from a paper bag and hands it to the Transvestite Lady *

Transvestite Lady: She believes everything you said?

Max: Yep.

* Transvestite lady leaves the diner *

* Caroline comes out *

Max: Hey, I got $5000 dealing kittens.

= Ending Sequence =

= Balance goes up by $5,000 =

_I kinda want to leave the suspense to viewers rather or not Max is an agent._


End file.
